I honestly feel embarrassed even writing about this 🤦‍♀️ it’s crazy to think that things were going so good, my weight was in a good place and I was happy. I think my depression has played a major part in where I am now unfortunately. Food has won and my self control has lost 😐

Where I’m at..

This week has been a world win and I’ve been eating bad unfortunately but I have decided to go back on the meal plan my nutritionist has given me and I’m excited to move forward starting Monday also with the help of my mom who is going to be dieting again with me. Honestly she always does better then me she’s more dedicated, food and I have always had a rocky relationships their are times when I’m eating good and other times where food is really not my best friend. I do always accept responsibility for any mistakes I make or bad decisions that may occur in my life. I’m trying my best to get out of the space I’m in right now and trying my best to slip out of the depression and get back on track.

What’s next for me..

The only thing at this point that can be done is me striving to do my best again. I’m going to regain my strength and regain my power back and get my life back the way it was before everything went left. I’m actually proud of myself though since I’ve gone grocery shopping today and rid my refrigerator of all the bad foods so I’m excited about going back to healthy eating also I’m going to be back in the gym next week and I’m thinking about getting a trainer for the extra help. I downloaded a new app on my phone to help with my eating as well ,I’ll put the link at the end of the post but so far I like it a lot it actually will generate and make your meal plans for you also it’s great because you can blog post your journey on it and post pictures and talk to people from all over the world who are trying to lose weight so that’s great motivation.

Conclusion..

I’m definitely going to do more post to keep you updated on my weight loss journey and to kind of document it for you guys. I’m going to share the foods I’m eating and the exercises that I’m doing and different recipes. This is a little off topic but after having my daughter I was 145 pounds and I remember losing weight and getting down to 133 or so and I was happy and then the weight came back after a while and I lost it again and of course now it’s back again to 139 and I was 133/134 last. I know to most reading this your going to be like stop bitching that’s nothing just a couple of pounds but to me it’s a lot I’m really insecure about my body a lot and In the past it has lead me to starving myself and not treating my body good. It’s really about a lifestyle change and being healthy for not only me but for my daughter.

More talk..

Again I also wanna apologize for my bad blog posting lately funny thing is I wrote part of this post four days ago and then saved it as a draft and never got back to writing more on it until today. I’m trying guys I’m trying again my mind is still all over the place and I’m trying my best to come back to being myself but I will try my hardest to blog more.

Enjoy your Saturday and relax because Monday is coming soon. Thanks for reading my crazy rant. It’s time to get back to relaxing.